Growing up I came to believe the more opportunities the better. The world is our oyster.
I went to college thinking it would bring more choices and opportunities.
Our choices in life have an impact on how our lives turn out. We might overthink things and can’t decide on what to choose.
Is it the fear of choosing the wrong thing? Are we losing something if we choose a different option?
Or is it our desire to do everything and have everything?
Decision paralysis is the name of not being able to choose.
I start my mornings thinking of all the grand things I can do. I fantasize about becoming a professional at my hobby.
I make all the necessary plans and what I should be doing for the day.
It’s like my first instinct in the morning is figuring out where I am going?
I know it’s kind of a luxury to have the time to think about these kinds of things, but by the afternoon I’m paralyzed.
I could code, I could read, I could watch a movie, I could start a new hobby.
Yesterday I ended up buying beer and drinking at 3 in the afternoon.
I couldn’t decide, so I decided to do nothing.
I got drunk and fell asleep at 5pm.
Not much of a story, but the next day, I owed it to myself to think about what happened?
What am I actually doing?
I’m escaping and avoiding decisions!
Your escapism might look different. You might choose to do laundry instead of finishing writing in your journal.
You might watch Netflix to avoid finding and choosing something productive to do.
You might start cleaning your room instead of working on your drawing skills.
This might be on the borderline of procrastination, but I think decision making is what creates procrastination.
So what can we do?
Remove choices from my life. The less choices the less energy spent on deciding.
I didn’t realize how much time and thought is spent on deciding.
Keep things simple.
Lay out my clothes to wear the day before. Make a schedule to decide what you are going to do with my time.
Make a list of things you want to do, but cut it down to 1–3 things in one day.
Some thoughts that I unconsciously have:
What if we go down the wrong path? How long will we go down that path before we realize we are going the wrong way?
How much time are we going to waste?
When I think about it, my life is a series of guessing in the dark. We never know 100% that this is the right direction.
We kind of figure it out as we go. One mistake might give us an experience that sets us on the path we were meant to be on.
We are never wasting time, only slowly making our way and experiencing life.
I’m not advocating to be the most productive, there’s even blog posts and youtube videos about how to be productive.
I’m just trying to be more aware and learn something about myself.
I always think about the gill-ion options at the supermarket. It’s good to do research and find out which variety you want.
But if you end up not choosing anything, then I would say it’s better to choose any of them, any choice will still get you where you want to go.
Short blurb on how I got drunk lol. But I’m trying to find stories in my everyday life.
The more I write and journal the more moments of realization I can capture.