What do You Feel with Your Time?

Clint Oka
3 min readJul 4, 2021
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Don’t waste your time!

Where did this saying come from?

Does it come from the view that if we don’t accomplish anything then it’s a waste of time?

How do we know what is a good use of time?

It seems as a society we value time on our productivity. And our productivity becomes our identity.

What we decide to spend most of our time doing, is who we say we are?

I’m on tinder, swiping away and then all of sudden I get a match! I’m excited, nervous, curious, happy, worried. Worried about the next step, talking with her.

What should I message? She must get tons of messages from guys. I’m guessing they say pretty much the same, “Hi, how are you?”

How do I stand out from the crowd? Maybe comment about something about her in her profile!

As I look at her profile, I want to get to know who she is, so I can send a meaningful message.

I ask “who is she?” Then I ask “who am I?”

Sometimes when meeting someone for the first time our first instinct is to ask what do you do? It’s almost our culture.

We assess and judge a person by their career, accomplishments, or success.

A lot of the time tinder matches go unanswered. And I wonder why?

It got me thinking, what if we ask “What do you feel with your time?”

We label a person by what he or she does, can we not describe a person by naming how they feel with their time?

It might sound weird so let me give you an example.

Take a successful person. They must have spent countless hours to get where they are in life. I can tell you that they want the feeling of happiness, success, and a sense of accomplishment.

But what if beneath that there is a feeling of fear? Fear of inadequacy. Desire to feel special, and maybe a feeling that at this moment you are not enough.

There could be countless hours, days, months, years in this state of fear. Feeling this fear during all the actions leading up to what?

The moment of success?

I think everyone has felt some sort of success small or large and they can relate that the feeling fades. It’s short lived.

So in the end what did we spend most of our time feeling? Fear!

And if we spend most of our time in fear, then we can label and describe a person as a person who is fearful when spending their time.

Judging a person by what they are feeling instead of what they are doing is just a different measure on how to get to know that person.

Of course some successful people could have a variety of feelings when ascending to their success.

I just wanted to point out a different perspective on success.

I just wanted to help myself describe who I truly am. And when I look at the root of my being I get confused on the question who am I?

And how should I spend my time?

I’m not saying we should do nothing, but maybe just be more self-aware of how we are feeling.

Have you heard the saying “give expecting nothing in return”

This gives me peace of mind. My desires and expectations are at peace.

I will not be acting out of fear.

I will do, create, live, love without expectations.

We are what we strive to be, what we value.

I asked the question “who am I” and I cannot answer that!

But I can tell you what I strive for and value is peace.

And just fyi I did get a date on tinder, we’ll see where it goes but I want to maintain the feeling of peace with myself.

I think I’ll be a better company if I’m not struggling with fear internally.

When we are struggling with fear, we miss a lot of things. We don’t notice the beauty in a moment.

We don’t listen as fully.

We are not able to be compassionate.

So ask yourself “What do I feel with my time?”