Have you ever been lost or lonely?
At a point in your life where nothing is working out.
It feels like life has picked you up in a tidal wave of events and you have no control over what happens.
Stop that! Don’t believe that you have no control over your life.
The only way to succeed and be happy is to believe that the choices you make directly affect the results in your life. Basically you must have strong self-efficacy, which means you believe your actions will directly affect the outcome.
I have always, for as long as I can remember, been happy go lucky. I kinda let life take me where ever it decided. I figured if I have an open perspective I would be happy anywhere I wind up.
Maybe it was because I never knew what I wanted to say, what I wanted to stand for, what was worth fighting for? I never thought I was unique. I thought the only thing unique about me was that I didn’t have the desire to be unique.
I was fine to not be more valuable, stand out, or be better than the rest. Sometimes I feel like nobody is special and everyone is special.
One day I woke up and realized I was wrong. Choices are the spice of life, the choices that you make will dictate your life. I decided I wanted control of my life. Your life is a result of choices, you let life decided for you (other people) or you can choose to live your own life.
Choose Your Learning
The first thing I did was to take control of my learning. Learning is like what you are feeding yourself. Whatever you consume, you will become. I realized there is information that is fresh and healthy for you and information that is rotten and bad for you.
Choosing which media to follow, which movies to watch, which magazines and books to read, and which people to listen to, will shape the person you become.
I made the mistake of stopping to learn after college. I figured I graduated and that was enough. I was arrogant and elitist. People that don’t go to college can be more educated in many areas of life.
After my dry spell after college, I found that reading was the best way to learn. You didn’t just settle on the closest person to you for information or what people saw in a video. Reading is the source, fresh off the press. Reading gives you access to people around the world and even can let you speak to the dead.
Choose to become the greatest version of yourself by becoming a life long learner. Learning will help you in all areas of your life. Why do it all alone when you can stand on the shoulders of others. Learning and sharing is a human blessing and is probably what separates us from other animals.
Choose Your health
You have nothing without your health. The first habits I choose to start my reinvention was sleep, exercise, and nutrition. I wake up every morning at 4 am and go jogging @ 5 am. I am on a plant-based diet and try to eat non-processed foods.
Before this, I was making all kinds of goals, I wanted to be an artist, a teacher, a social worker, a writer, but none of them worked out. I would get tired and feel unmotivated. I would wake up a 12 noon and do nothing till 2 am.
It wasn’t until I got my foundation set up before I could strive for other things. After setting up sleep, exercise, and nutrition, everything else fell into place. I felt more motivated, I had more energy, and I was more focused.
Even still today, the only goals that I write down are sleep hygiene, exercise, nutrition. Other things will come and go but as long as I choose to have the basics, I am in control of my life and I choose what I can and can’t do.
Choose your relationships
When I was younger I kind of let relationships just happen. I didn’t realize relationships are fragile and need care and attention.
As you can guess it was until I was down and out that I realized the importance of relationships, to have someone there to support you. It was a hard lesson to learn but a necessary growing pain.
The choices we make affect everyone around us.
And people affect us. I used to welcome everyone and treat everyone the same. I still welcome most, but now I choose who I surround myself with. They say you are the sum of the 5 most people you hang around with.
Choose your relationships wisely, and once chosen take care of them. Make choices don’t let relationships just happen.
Choose Your Purpose
No one can tell you what you truly desire. Sometimes we get lost in what we really want. I get pulled in one way, then, in a different direction, then I’m distracted by something shiny.
We have to follow our inner compass and find our purpose in our lifetime. We end up saying no to a lot of things. Knowing what we don’t like will point us in the right direction. Make choices and rule out all the things you don’t need.
Choose to say no. There is power in the word “no”. Feel comfortable and for the most part, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
How do we find out what we don’t like? I guess we have to start by trying different things. I can’t pinpoint what a purposeful life looks like. And I am not sure what advice to say. For me, I try to be honest with myself, that’s my choice.
I choose to take time and look inward to see if I’m being honest with myself.
Choices Big and Small
Change comes from choices, either choices from ourselves or other people. Don’t allow others to choose for you. You may be scared of failure, which prevents you from deciding. I took that route for many years, it was a cop-out, if I didn’t really decide or try, then I actually could never fail because I never started.
Be brave and take control and responsibility of your life and make some difficult choices. Even the small choices add up, to the kind of mustard you like, to the decision to like Nsync or the Backstreet Boys, to using fabric softener or not, these will define who you are. Say yes to life and start making those choices!
